Seatmates in International Biz matter way less than seatmates in Economy. Generally, you don’t share an armrest, and if you do, it’s quite large. If the seatmate happens to be obese, at least the wide seats with high walls keep them from pouring over onto you. If said seatmate is stinky, typically the extra room will prevent you from having to smell them the entire flight. In fact, I find United’s International Business Class seats so pod-like that it is often easy to forget you’re sitting next to anyone!
Well, I finally had a terrible seatmate yesterday. Here are his qualifications:
- He sleep-talked. Yes – I’m serious. It wasn’t in English, and it would come out in loud spurts, and as he was talking in his sleep, he would often wave his hands around when he did so.
- He grunted and snorted all the time.
- He snored LOUDLY.
- He “passed gas” a few times. Why am I trying to be polite with my wording here? I’ll just say it: he ripped a few nasty farts that were audible and terrible smelling.
- He smelled like Euro cigarettes. I don’t smoke, and I don’t like the smell of people on an airplane after they finished smoking, but I’ve learned to tolerate that. However, some Europeans smoke some stuff that we don’t have here in the states, and maybe I’m just not used to it, but to me, the after-smell is way worse than normal cigarette after-stench.
- When he wasn’t farting, snoring, or sleep talking, he would occasionally erupt into a violent cough. This cough would help to repopulate my personal airspace with the Euro-cigarette stink.
Am I being too hard on the guy? I don’t think so! Have you had worse?
